Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?

Are you always trying to prove yourself right? Do you find yourself putting others down to feel better about yourself? Are you willing to sacrifice your relationships and personal growth for the sake of being right?

It’s time to shift our focus from being right to understanding the bigger picture. We need to recognize that our need for control and being right can actually be a defense mechanism called reaction formation. By expressing repressed feelings in a contrasting form, we protect ourselves from painful or difficult emotions. But this defense mechanism can cause collateral damage to ourselves and our relationships.

Let’s break the cycle by recognizing our behavior and taking a step back. Instead of always trying to be right, let’s focus on understanding and empathizing with others. Let’s prioritize our relationships and personal growth over our need for control. It’s time to see the bigger picture and let go of our need to always be right.

So how do we stop this cycle? The first step is recognizing what we are doing and pumping the brakes. Ask yourself the following questions:

Do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?

Have you ever wondered if your desire to be right is worth sacrificing your own happiness? It’s time to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Instead of getting caught up in the heat of the moment, ask yourself if winning the argument is really going to solve anything. Will it truly bring you happiness, or will it just leave your partner feeling neglected and unheard? It’s time to put your emotions aside and focus on finding a solution that benefits both parties.

Which will bring me closer to my partner?

Ask yourself this question: “If I push my own agenda too hard, will it make my partner more open and vulnerable, or will it just shut them down?” It’s important to consider whether “winning” an argument will actually lead to open and honest communication and build trust, or if it will just push your partner away. So, before you charge ahead with your own ideas, take a moment to think about how your approach will affect your relationship.

What is more important to me?

Is being right at the cost of your relationship/friendship/job/etc. really worth it? Sure, it feels great to prove someone wrong and come out on top in an argument, but have you considered what you might lose in the process? Is it worth the risk of damaging a relationship or hurting someone’s feelings just to prove a point? And let’s be real, will winning that argument even matter in the grand scheme of things? Will it still be relevant a year from now? Five years from now? It’s worth taking a step back and considering the bigger picture before diving headfirst into a debate.

This blog is not a substitute for professional counseling. The opinions expressed here are not a clinical assessment, evaluation, or treatment. They are only meant to educate people about counseling issues. If you need professional help, you can contact Natasha Dedijer-Turner for a list of referral sources.