Breaking up is never easy. It’s like a rollercoaster of emotions that can leave you feeling lost and uncertain about the future. It’s not just the end of a relationship, but the end of all the dreams and plans you had for that relationship. Maybe you were planning to start a family or travel the world together. Suddenly, everything you thought you knew about your future is up in the air. This is what experts call “ambiguous grief”. It’s a unique kind of pain where the person or thing you’re losing is still there, but you’re prevented from accessing it.
Let’s dive into four initial steps that will have you feeling like a million bucks in no time!
1. Disengage
Cut off all ties! It’s crucial that you put an end to any form of communication with this person. You deserve the time and space to sort through your emotions, and staying in touch with them will only hinder your progress. Take a moment to jot down all the reasons why you should steer clear of them. Believe it or not, studies have shown that listing out your ex’s negative traits can actually help you move on. So go ahead and make that list – it’s time to focus on your own well-being.
2. Feel it
Going through a breakup can be tough, but it’s totally okay to grieve. Don’t try to suppress your emotions – let yourself feel everything that comes with it. It’s all part of the healing process, and with time, you’ll start to feel better and be ready to take on new adventures. One way to start is by acknowledging your feelings and what you’re losing. It’s okay to be upset – in fact, labeling our emotions can actually help us process them better. So go ahead and lean into those feelings for a bit. And don’t be afraid to use whatever tools work for you to process those emotions. Maybe you need to make a playlist of breakup songs, or write in a journal to get your thoughts out. Or maybe you need to pack up all those momentos and put them away for a while. Whatever it is, give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions arise. You got this!
3. Stop searching for answers
Did you know that breaking up with someone you love can feel like going through withdrawal from a drug addiction? It’s true! Studies have shown that the pain of losing romantic love can be just as intense as the pain of quitting a substance. But here’s the thing: no matter how much it hurts, there’s no justification for staying in a relationship that isn’t working. So instead of dwelling on the past, it’s time to accept the breakup and focus on moving forward. You’ve got this!
4. Self care
Now that you’ve had some time to breathe and reflect, it’s time to focus on YOU. What did you really need in that relationship that was missing? Don’t wait for someone else to fill those voids – start filling them for yourself! It’s time to step out of your comfort zone and try new things. But don’t forget about self-care! Make sure you’re intentional about making space in your daily routine to do things that bring you joy and are just for you. And while you’re at it, don’t neglect your emotional well-being. Set boundaries, practice gratitude, and prioritize your needs. And don’t forget to listen to your gut! That visceral reaction that drives your choices is there for a reason. Learning to cultivate and trust this feeling can help you make sound decisions and achieve a more balanced, healthier life. So get out there, take small steps, and try new things. The world is waiting for you!