Help! I’m so stressed out!

Let’s face it, stress is a part of life. It’s like that annoying friend who always shows up uninvited. But here’s the thing, admitting that you’re stressed is the first step to feeling better. It’s like taking off a heavy backpack after a long hike. You feel lighter and more free.

Sure, a little bit of stress can be a good thing. It’s what gets us out of bed in the morning and motivates us to tackle the day. But when it becomes too much to handle, it can be overwhelming. It’s like trying to juggle too many balls at once – eventually, one of them is going to drop.

But don’t let stress get you down. Instead, see it as an opportunity to grow and reset your mind. Your brain is like a sponge, constantly learning from your experiences. So by facing stress head-on, you’re actually training your brain to handle it better in the future.

So take a moment to reflect on what’s causing your stress. Is it a bunch of little things piling up, or is it a more long-term issue? If it’s the former, maybe it’s time to take a break and give yourself some much-needed rest. But if it’s the latter, don’t worry – there are plenty of techniques you can try to help ease your stress.

So let’s take a deep breath and tackle this together. Because when it comes to stress, we’re all in this together.

Practice the 4 A’s of stress management

Stress is a sneaky little devil that can creep up on us when we least expect it. It’s a natural response to certain situations, but let’s face it, some things are just bound to make us feel like we’re about to lose our minds. Whether it’s the daily grind of commuting to work, facing your boss, or even attending family events, these stressors can really take a toll on our mental health. But fear not! There are ways to manage these pesky stressors. You can either change the situation or change your response to it.

To figure out the best approach, it’s helpful to remember the four A’s: avoid, alter, adapt, or accept. By considering these options, you can take control of your stress and find a way to cope that works for you. So don’t let stress get the best of you – take charge and find a solution that works! Trust me, you’ll feel like a superhero once you’ve conquered your stress.

Avoid

Believe it or not, managing stress doesn’t have to be a daunting task. In fact, with just a few simple strategies, you can effectively keep stress at bay and enjoy a more relaxed state of mind.

• It all starts with taking control of your surroundings. If traffic is driving you crazy, why not try leaving for work earlier or taking a less congested route? And if waiting in line at the cafeteria is a hassle, why not bring your own lunch and enjoy it at your desk or in a designated break room?
• Another key to managing stress is avoiding individuals who cause it. If a co-worker is particularly bothersome, why not create some physical distance between yourself and them? Sit far away from them during meetings or take a longer route around their cubicle.
• And don’t be afraid to say no! With so many responsibilities and demands on your time, it’s important to recognize when you’ve reached your limit. Turning down extracurricular activities or coaching opportunities can free up valuable time and allow for a more relaxed demeanor.
• Of course, prioritizing tasks is also crucial. Labeling your to-do list with A’s, B’s, and C’s based on importance can help you focus on the most pressing tasks. And on particularly busy days, consider removing the C’s from your list. While some stressors cannot be avoided, there are additional techniques that can be employed to keep stress at bay. So why not give these strategies a try and enjoy a more relaxed, stress-free life?

Alter

When life gets tough, it’s time to take a step back and assess the situation. What changes can I make to improve my experience?

• One way to do this is by conducting a personal inventory and making a conscious effort to improve your circumstances. But it’s not just about you – it’s important to communicate with others and work together to resolve any issues that may arise.
• If someone’s behavior is causing you stress, don’t be afraid to speak up. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask them to modify their behavior, as long as you’re willing to do the same. After all, small problems can quickly snowball into bigger ones if left unchecked. For example, if your friend is constantly making jokes at your expense during social gatherings, kindly ask them to stop. But don’t forget to show appreciation for their other jokes and thank them for their consideration.
• Another important aspect of managing stress is being open about your emotions. Use “I” statements to express how you feel and suggest solutions. For instance, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by a heavy workload, try saying something like, “I feel frustrated by the increased workload and shorter deadlines. Is there a way we can balance this out?”
• Time management is also key to reducing stress. Grouping similar tasks together, like phone calls, errands, and computer work, can help you work more efficiently and free up extra time.
• Finally, it’s crucial to set boundaries. If a colleague is talking your ear off, politely let them know you only have a few minutes to chat. By taking these steps, you can reduce stress and improve your overall well-being.

Adapt

Adapting is key. And no, we’re not talking about changing who you are or what you stand for. We’re talking about adjusting your expectations and standards to make life a little more manageable.

• For starters, take a look at your to-do list. Do you really need to vacuum and dust twice a week? Is mac and cheese really that much worse than homemade lasagna? Give yourself a break and redefine what success looks like. Trust us, it’ll make a world of difference.
• Another trick? Practice thought-stopping. When negative thoughts start creeping in, shut them down ASAP. Refuse to let them take over and you’ll be amazed at how quickly they disappear.
• And if all else fails, try looking at your situation from a new perspective. Instead of feeling frustrated that you’re stuck at home with a sick child, see it as an opportunity to bond and catch up on laundry. And don’t forget to remind yourself that you’ve got this. Create a mantra like “I can handle this” and repeat it to yourself whenever things get tough.
• Finally, take a step back and look at the big picture.Try to implement the 5 by 5 rule: take a deep breath and give yourself 5 minutes to really feel those emotions. But then, you ask yourself a powerful question: will this matter in 5 years? And just like that, you realize that it won’t. So, you take another deep breath and let go of those emotions. You feel a sense of relief wash over you as you continue with your day, feeling lighter and happier. It’s amazing how a simple question can help you let go of negativity and focus on the positive.

Accept

Life can be tough sometimes, and we all have those moments where we feel like we’re stuck in a frustrating situation with no way out. But fear not, there are ways to cope and come out the other side feeling stronger and more resilient than ever before.

• Firstly, let’s talk about talking. It’s okay to reach out to someone and vent your feelings, even if you can’t change the situation. Your emotions are valid and deserve to be heard. So, grab a coffee with a friend who understands or schedule a phone call. Trust us, sometimes just talking it out can make all the difference.
• Next up, forgiveness. We know it’s easier said than done, but holding onto anger and resentment only drains your energy and leaves you feeling more negative. So, try to forgive and free yourself from that burden. It may take some practice, but we promise it’s worth it.
• Positive self-talk is also key. When stress hits, it’s easy to lose perspective and spiral into negative thinking. But instead of beating yourself up with thoughts like “I’m terrible with money,” try reframing it as a learning opportunity. “I made a mistake, but I’m resilient and I’ll do better next time.” You got this!
• Last but not least, learn from your mistakes. We all mess up sometimes, but recognizing those “teachable moments” can help us grow and improve. Maybe procrastination hurt your performance, but now you know to set aside more time in the future. With these tips in mind, you’ll be better equipped to handle whatever life throws your way. So, chin up and keep going!

This blog is not a substitute for professional counseling. The opinions expressed here are not a clinical assessment, evaluation, or treatment. They are only meant to educate people about counseling issues. If you need professional help, you can contact Natasha Dedijer-Turner for a list of referral sources.