Sometimes we wonder why we seem to date the same type of person or find ourselves in the same situation over and over. Is our picker broken? Why do we miss the red flags? Why is it so hard for us to walk away from people that treat us poorly? Goal disengagement We’ve all been […]
Surviving A Toxic Parent
“I want to end my relationship with a toxic parent who caused me trauma – what’s the best approach?” Every child deserves engaged, fully present parents. It is important that you recognize that you are not responsible for their decisions-then or now. It is not your responsibility to manage their emotions. As a child, your […]
When a loved one has Borderline Personality Disorder
When a loved one has Borderline Personality Disorder it can affect everyone: children, spouses, extended family, friends and coworkers. What is Borderline Personality Disorder? So what exactly is Borderline Personality Disorder and how do we know if our loved one is affected by it? The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual-5 (DSM5) defines Borderline Personality Disorder as “a pervasive […]
Tips for Coping With the Death of a Spouse
It is never easy to lose someone we care deeply for and it is especially hard when it is your spouse or partner. When I think of grief I am often reminded of a quote by Vicki Harrison: Grief is like the ocean; it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, […]
Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
Often we are so focused on being “right” that we miss the bigger picture. Sometimes our need for control manifests in our need to be right. Being right can become a type of defense mechanism called reaction formation. Reaction formation protects us from painful or difficult feelings by expressing repressed feelings in a contrasting form. […]
Emotional Snipers
Chances are you already have an emotional sniper in your life-you just don’t realize it. Emotional snipers are those friends (or frenemies) who can never be truly happy for you. You know the type-the friend who can’t resist taking a cheap shot just to make you look bad or the person who encourages you to […]
Is my family enmeshed?
Having a hard time seeing where you start and your friend/partner/family member end? During the 1970s, Salvador Minuchen introduced the concept of enmeshment and enmeshed families. Enmeshment is a term used to describe the blurring of personal boundaries. Whether it’s a relationship between family members, partners or spouses, limits simply don’t exist in enmeshed relationships, […]